Episode Notes:
Gratitude can be defined in many different ways. In its simplest form, it is state of appreciation and/or thankfulness for something of value to oneself [1]. In different contexts for different people, gratitude can look a lot different. While there is no single, correct way to be more grateful and no promise land of a perfect life by incorporating gratitude, it really can change your life.
Reflecting on my own personal life, I discovered that practicing gratitude was the key that unlocked the door to a happier life. So much so, that I have established gratitude as one of my three personal, guiding values. After all, Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl notes that optimism, faith, hope, and love cannot be commanded or ordered [2]. We cannot simply be happy.
“[H]appiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to ‘be happy.’ Once the reason is found, however, one becomes happy automatically” [2].
In this episode, we’ll explore what gratitude is, how it can help you remove stress and be happier, and some simple strategies to beginning living a life of gratitude.
TOPICS:
[2:18] The present moment
[6:35] Shifting your perspective
[12:40] The neuroscience of gratitude
[15:50] What a gratitude practice looks like
[19:50] How to incorporate gratitude into your life
Gratitude Expression
As I write this episode, I have a lot to be grateful for. From my health to my family, my experiences to my opportunities, my luxuries to my lessons learned – I feel like the luckiest person alive. Interestingly, I did not always feel this way. By simply shifting my focus from what I am missing to what I have – cultivating an appreciation for everything in my life – my joy of life has reached new heights.
So with that, I am grateful for everything. Good or bad, it’s all subjective. But I am blessed to be able to experience the human condition and everything that comes with that. For that reason, I will begin this post with an expression of gratitude for LIFE.
The Present Moment
Right now, in this moment, this is us. The only truth – the only existence – is this present moment. What we have and who we are – our unique combination of strengths, weaknesses, characteristics, goals, dreams, memories, emotional wounds, and everything else – is real and perfect.
We should all dedicate time to observe the world around us and reflect on where we are, right now.
Unfortunately, the present moment is inaccessible for a lot of people. This is because many of us obsessively try to recreate the past in our minds or compulsively think about the future. In both of these situations, we create tension and anxiety over time frames that do not exist, because only the present moment is truly accessible.
In The Power of Now, Eckart Tolle argues that we have a choice [3]. We can either a) Create more problems in our lives by obsessing over non-existent time frames, past or present, or we can b) Surrender to the present moment.
This is why gratitude is so powerful. By focusing your energy into every great thing that exists in your life RIGHT NOW, you can dissociate with the self-constructed problems of the past and future. After all, Seneca once said that “We suffer more in imagination than in reality” [4].
New Perspectives
Sometimes a new perspective is enough to elicit gratitude for what you do have. Tales of horror and suffering, past or present, are enough to contextualize the mundane problems and annoyances that disrupt our ability to be happy.
One prime example is Viktor Frankl, the Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher, author, and Holocaust survivor [2]. Describing the horrors of life at Auschwitz in Man’s Search For Meaning, Frankl’s work can quickly shift your perspective on the luxuries of life.
Take for example, a description of an mild discomfort he experienced, relative to the most abhorrent suffering he witnessed and endured.
“We were grateful for the smallest of mercies. We were glad when there was time to delouse before going to bed, although in itself this was no pleasure, as it meant standing naked in an unheated hut where icicles hung from the ceiling. But we were thankful there was no air raid alarm during this operation and the lights were not switched off. If we could not do the job properly, we were kept awake half the night” [2].
Another example is the famous Stoic philosopher Epictetus, who was born into slavery and suffered a physical disability at a very young age [5]. Despite his adversities, Epictetus led an incredibly inspiring and fulfilling life.
At the core of his teachings, Epictetus preached that we have the ability to determine our response to situations. Since everything in the world is perfect and just, we should be grateful for everything as it is.
“Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life” [5].
While it is easy to look at historic examples, problems and suffering aren’t restricted to the past. Suffering, death, pain, and terror exists everywhere, and it will continue into the future.
But if James Stockdale as a Prisoner of War in Vietnam, Viktor Frankl as a Holocaust prisoner, and billions of people suffering throughout the world’s history, can all find joy in life, we can too. It starts by putting things into perspective by reflecting on your life and acknowledging every great thing that you have.
Gratitude Changes Your Brain
Neuroplasticity, the concept that our thoughts can physically change the structure and function of our brains, is key to understanding gratitude [6]. Research shows that a “willful and deliberate focus on all that is good in one’s life will shift one’s baseline temperament and increase feelings of well-being [7].
Numerous studies have demonstrated this. First, a 2019 study with over 400 participants found that a gratitude intervention increased subjective feelings of happiness and life satisfaction, while also reducing depression symptoms [8].
An interesting study in 2010 evaluated the impact of gratitude expression in communal relationships [9]. Interestingly, not only did gratitude expression increase the perceived communal strength for both the expresser and recipient, but the relationships were evaluated as stronger than the control groups.
In 2016, one study used a gratitude writing intervention to evaluate brain activity [10]. They observed those who participated in gratitude letter writing had increased neural sensitivity to gratitude in the medial prefrontal cortex (MPFC) three months after the intervention. A 2020 study builds on this by finding that a gratitude practice creates structural variations in the MPFC which are associated with life satisfaction [11].
Gratitude as a Guiding Value
Understanding the power of gratitude, I began to prioritize it in my life. First and foremost, I made it the first of three guiding values that I use as a North Star for my life.
Within gratitude, I have further broken it down into three subsections: Awareness, Appreciation, and Expression.
First, I believe that it is necessary to stop, be present, and become hyper-aware of everything that I feel, experience, and have. It its basic form, it is a non-judgmental assessment of my life in the present moment. As Paulo Coelho said in The Alchemist, “When each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises” [12].
Secondly, once we have become aware of our blessings, we must appreciate them. Consider this quote from Epictetus: “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has” [5].
Finally, we take the joy we have cultivated from our blessings and express it outwardly. Through simple ‘thank-you’ notes to acts of kindness, there are countless ways that we can express gratitude to share magic with others. Consider this quote by Henri Frederic Amiel, “Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts” [13].
How to Practice Gratitude
Incorporating a gratitude practice into your daily routine may be one of the best ways to live a happier and more fulfilling life. After all, Frankl notes that optimism, faith, hope, and love cannot be commanded or ordered. We can’t simply be happy.
“[H]appiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to ‘be happy.’ Once the reason is found, however, one becomes happy automatically” [2].
So to be happy in your life, you must provide yourself with a reason to be happy. It starts by taking a look around, acknowledging your blessings and opportunities, and meditating on these thoughts.
To help you find and discover the reasons to be happy, the things to be grateful for, you can do any combination of the following things:
– Write in a gratitude journal
– Meditate
– Read spiritual and/or philosophy texts
– Express gratitude openly
Some resources to help you out include:
– Hal Elrod’s Miracle Morning
– Brendon Burchard
– 5-Minute Journal
– Mediation apps such as Calm, Headspace, and Smiling Mind
One final piece of advice from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditaitons: “Fancy not to thyself things future, as though they were present but of those that are present, take some aside, that thou takest most benefit of, and consider of them particularly, how wonderfully thou wouldst want them, if they were not present” [14].
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References
[1] Sansone, R. A., & Sansone, L. A. (2010). Gratitude and well being: the benefits of appreciation. Psychiatry (Edgmont (Pa. : Township)), 7(11), 18–22. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3010965/
[2] Frankl, V., Lasch, I., Kushner, H. & Winslade, W. (2006). Man’s search for meaning. Boston: Beacon Press.
[3] Tolle, E. (1999). The power of now: A guide to spiritual enlightenment. Novato, California: New World Library.
[4] Seneca Quotes. (2021). The Daily Stoic. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/seneca-quotes/
[5] Epictetus. (2004). Enchiridion. Mineola, NY: Dover Publications.
[6] Doidge, N. (2007). The brain that changes itself: Stories of personal triumph from the frontiers of brain science. New York: Viking.
[7] Kelly J. D., 4th (2016). Your Best Life: Breaking the Cycle: The Power of Gratitude. Clinical orthopaedics and related research, 474(12), 2594–2597. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11999-016-5100-0
[8] Cunha, L. F., Pellanda, L. C., & Reppold, C. T. (2019). Positive Psychology and Gratitude Interventions: A Randomized Clinical Trial. Frontiers in psychology, 10, 584. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00584
[9] Lambert, N. M., Clark, M. S., Durtschi, J., Fincham, F. D., & Graham, S. M. (2010). Benefits of expressing gratitude: expressing gratitude to a partner changes one’s view of the relationship. Psychological science, 21(4), 574–580. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797610364003
[10] Kini, P., Wong, J., McInnis, S., Gabana, N., & Brown, J. W. (2016). The effects of gratitude expression on neural activity. NeuroImage, 128, 1–10. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuroimage.2015.12.040
[11] Kong, F., Zhao, J., You, X., & Xiang, Y. (2020). Gratitude and the brain: Trait gratitude mediates the association between structural variations in the medial prefrontal cortex and life satisfaction. Emotion (Washington, D.C.), 20(6), 917–926. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000617
[12] Coelho, P. (1998). The alchemist. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco.
[13] Amiel, H. F. (2021). Quotable Quote. Goodreads. Retrieved from https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/938996-thankfulness-is-the-beginning-of-gratitude-gratitude-is-the-completion#:~:text=Quotes%20%3E%20Quotable%20Quote-,%E2%80%9CThankfulness%20is%20the%20beginning%20of%20gratitude.,Gratitude%20is%20shown%20in%20acts.%E2%80%9D
[14] Aurelius, M. (2014). Meditations. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform.
